Ampersand

De bästa science fiction- och fantasyrelaterade aprilskämten hittar man vanligtvis hos Locus. Det som gör dem så bra är att syftet egentligen inte är att lura någon, utan att få tillfälle att göra sig lustig över vissa fenomen inom genren. Ibland är det småkul, ibland är det väldigt träffande. Som när man kommenterar fantasygenrens oförmåga att hålla sina böcker korta, och förlagens syn på det hela i ”Final Martin Manuscript Triggers Mass Suicides at Bantam”.

Panic, hysteria, depression, and mass suicide struck the offices of Bantam Books today when New York Times bestselling author George R. R. Martin turned in a manuscript for the final book of his A Song of Fire and Ice series that came in at a concise 87 pages.

”As I sat down to write the book, I suddenly realized that I could tie everything up in a satisfying climax at novella length,” said Martin in a prepared statement. ”Brevity being the soul of wit, I decided to do just that. I think all the fans of he series will be very pleased with the way it turned out.”

”The world is a black, hellish nightmare of unceasing despair and endless sorrow!” cried Martin’s editor Anne Groell, rending her garments as her editorial assistants stood wailing around her. ”A stygian darkness descends, blotting out all life and hope! O Tempora! O Mores! My life work reduced to ashes before my eyes, leaving not but a voice and bitter weeping! Oh cruel fate! I die!” she declared, just before committing seppuku with a letter opener.

”That bastard! That sick, heartless bastard!” declared a Bantam marketing director as he loaded bullets into a Lugar. ”After all we’ve done for him, this is how he repays us? Do you know how much money we had to pay Time to call him ‘the American Tolkien?’”

Eller hur det lätt blir så att man försöka använda minsta lilla ursäkt för att avsluta en avliden författares verk i ”New Heinlein Novel to Be Written”.

While going through the archives of Wilson ”Bob” Tucker, writers Michael Z. Williamson and Brad Linaweaver found an as-yet unpublished Heinlein novel.

”It turns out Heinlein and Tucker were at dinner one night during MidAmeriCon [the 1976 Worldcon in Kansas City]”, Linaweaver said. ”Bob (Tucker) made notes of their conversation on three napkins.”

The napkins are currently being analyzed for impressions and other marks, and to clarify part of the text blurred by a coffee stain.

”It looked like ‘Time for the Pie,’” Williamson said. ”But we knew that was wrong. My guess is that it’s, ‘Time for the Pie in the Sky,’ based on a reference he made frequently. Brad thinks it’s ‘Time for the Pied Piper,’ hearkening back to one of his earlier stories.”

Eller det ironiska i science fiction-författare som tycker att det här med suspekt ny teknik inte nödvändigtvis är någonting man borde att ta till sig, i ”Howard Waldrop Upgrades to Steam-Powered Typewriter”.

Saying it was finally time for an upgrade, award-winning science fiction writer Howard Waldrop announced that he had ditched his old manual typewriter for a steam-powered model.

”People keep trying to give me IBM Selectrics and whatnot, but I don’t trust that newfangled electricity,” said Waldrop from his home in Austin, Texas (or, as he calls it, La Segunda Castillo de la Fantasmas). ”I don’t think they’ve quite worked all the kinks out yet.”

Se även ” Doctorow Releases Self under Creative Commons License ”, som meddelar att Cory Doctorow nu släppt sig själv under en Creative Commons-licens och
”VanderMeers to Assemble Anthology of Kincaidism”, som berättar om hur paret VanderMeer tagit till sig Paul Kincaids kritik om sf-genrens rörelser och manifest och istället skall släppa en antologi baserad på ett antimanifest de skrivit utifrån sin tolkning av hans uttalande.

Vidare läsning: förra årets aprilskämt från Locus

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